I just hung up from talking to Mom. She had me laughing so hard, I had tears rolling down my cheeks! The clue of the missing swimming suit bottoms is in this story and it has to do with bloodlines!
Mom had some chicken meat that she had picked off of a chicken she had cooked up. She decided biscuits would go nicely with her chicken. While at the market, she thought about women who buy biscuits in a can and she thought she would try them. (I'd never heard of biscuits in a can then I remembered those canisters that you whack on the counter top to get them opened....yup, those.)
Anyway, she gets the "can" home and gets a can opener to open it. It wouldn't grab the can so she peeled paper off from around the lid. According to her, she had a devil of a time getting that lid off. Once she did, the dough oozed out the end but the biscuits didn't come out.
She decided to try and open the other end to get them out. As she turned the canister over, she saw the label where it says, "Tear here". She tore the wrapper off and still had trouble getting into the package.
She now considers herself a "modern" woman who ate biscuits out of a can.
(Uhhh.....sure, Mom, whatever you say!)
All I know is that the two of us had best NEVER be in the kitchen together. The world just couldn't handle that at all.